Just a little selfish but this hurts most, being second place to those who you want to be first. I’ve never had something of my own, something that is just mine and I’m just theirs. I’m always the one to hold peoples hearts behind the curtains. Operating things without acquiring credit. 

I’m so tired of being second, my flame be pushed on the back burner left there to die and burn to ashes. Why can I never poses something that is mine and mine alone? Or maybe really deep i’m just as selfish as those that I know. I’m loosing it, because i’m looking for a place that is unattainable or unreachable. My bestfriend is not just mine but hers too, I’ve never been the kind to hog what is others but damn. I’m always the one to be hidden, kept away in a treasure box with no slight mention. The guy I like, yeah I guess he’s doing his own thing. I’m left here to be kept away for his return and it’s killing me. All my life I’ve wanted something to call my own and it’s just left me even worse than I started off. Being in a crowd of those I love, but even more alone. 

Every time I close my eyes, I in-vision us together just laying there like we did in that secret place. Every time I see couples I witness a potential future us, every breath I take is taken away just thinking bout our kiss. I got it bad, for us, for you.

I don’t know what to do with myself, I am so helpless to the engorging thought of us. I am submerged in the love I have for you, there is nothing stronger, nothing better the taste of your lips or the feeling of your hands around my hips. I am defenceless against your guarded heart, so weak to fall deep in affection as the oceans bottomless pit. Wrapped around your finger you have me in the palm of your hand, baby don’t break me. Rose petal delicate I am fragile to your words, swords cut deep as I’m here left thinking about you. You are the last of my thoughts as I’m unconscious at night, the last of my remembrance as I dream and the first on my mind when I arise. Left here waiting upon your arrival to tell me everything I’ve been missing. I am a fool, I got it bad for you.